You can't move.\nYour wings don't work.\n\n[[Help me!]]

Did you really think that was gonna work? Ugh.\n\n[[Use Mighty Kick!]]

It turns out the Charleston is actually the most offensive dance in all the forest. The music stops immediately, and one of the elephants says,\n\n"Way to ruin the party, Birthday Geek."\n\n[[come up with an awesome comeback]]\n\n[[leave]]

"I like you kid. You must be the birthday man everybody is talking about. I have orders to bring you to the Conference of Universal Birthday Math\n\n[[What's that?]]\n\n[[That doesn't add up]]

"We are heading to a Birthday Contest. I can't tell you much about it just yet," he says. He isn't paying attention to where he is going. He continues, "Just sharpen up on your math skills, mate," he is still looking at you.\n\nHE CRASHES INTO THE SIDE OF A BUILDING!!!\n\nDRIVE SAFE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You say your answer, and a walrus falls from the ceiling on top of you.\n\nThe crowd shouts in unison, "MEGA KILL"\n\nHappy birthday, genius.

You awake in a concrete room with no memory of how you got there. In front of you are two doors. One is made of some futuristic sort of metal that shines purple in the light. The other is made of flowers. Damn hippies.\n\n[[Stand up]]

You reach inside and pull out a candle covered in vanilla frosting. You know it's vanilla because, like a dummie, you licked it. Such a dummie.\n\n[[check head]]\n[[move on]]

"You get this sweet mixtape we made for you. It's all math songs!"\n\n"Oh," you say, "thanks I guess."\n\n"Also, one wish!"\n\n[[I want to be the king of the universe!]]\n\n[[I want money!]]\n\n[[I wish for one million more wishes]]\n

Ok, it's one on one! Can you do this?!?!?\n\n"If we are 1,000,000 lightyears from the nearest fast food joint, how many ships do we need to get there?"\n\n[[Stay silent]]\n\n[[Buzz in, You got this]]

All of the animals, having much less intelligence than humans, come to your rescue because they think you are drowning. Somebody shouts, "Give him mouth to mouth!" \n\nThis isn't so bad. The hot fairy will do it.\n\nWRONG! FRICKIN SEAGULLS!\n\nHappy birthday, seagull lover!

You enter a room that resembles a lecture hall. Slanted floors with seats, but instead of students, there are a bunch of aliens (one of them is pooping..gross)\n\nThere are two more humans on stage.\n\nAbove them is a sign that says, "Do math, son!"\n\nMr. Willis shoves you in the direction of the stage.\n\n[[Take your place]]

It's too late, dummy! Your tears have eaten through the metal, and you fall straight out the bottom.\n\nThe last thing you hear is Bruce saying, "Cry baby dun killed us both."\n\n\nHappy birthday, Cry Baby\n\n\n

"THAT'S CORRECT!" The crowd starts cheering, and Bruce Willis comes and gives you a piggy back ride! That's like your dream!\n\n"And now for your prize."\n\n[[What do I get?]]\n\n[[Oh, you guys dont need to get me anything]]

They pay you in Flimflams, their local currency...you cant even buy a hot dog with them on earth.\n\nCongratulations. Happy birthday!

You see a buzzer. The others look just as nervous as you feel. You ready yourself and try to get the poop smell out of your nose.\n\nFirst Question!\n\nIf twenty Glorknids eat three Glorkonis, How many Glinkons are formed?\n\n[[Buzz]]\n\n[[Wait that shit out]]

"That's right! It was a trick question! You get a point, and you get to pick somebody to automatically lose! What can be better?"\n\n[[Choose the dude next to you]]

Quit lollygagging! Pick a freaking door already!\n\n\n[[flowers]]\n\n[[metal]]

The man comes into the light.\n\nIt's you. Or at least you before you turned into the fairy.\n\nHe looks like he is thinking about whether he should ask you where he is or if he should just kill you.\n\nOops. He punched you.\n\nHappy Birthday. Violence solves nothing.

On top of your head is a party hat. It has a fluffy ball on the end of it. It's cuter than the average hat. Strange.\n\n[[check pocket]]\n[[move on]]

Everybody sees your awesome moves and they want to join in. You realize that you brough something completely new to this world. The robot. You are gonna be a hero!\n\nThe elephants try, but their limbs don bend that way. They break their legs and fall over. The music stops.\n\nHappy Birthday

You rise, and your legs are wobbly. You suddenly realize there is something in your pocket. Before you can reach inside, you feel something on your head\n\nOptions:\n\n[[check pocket]]\n\n[[check head]]

With some hesitation you say,\n\n[[Just one]]\n\nIt's another trick question...[[None]]\n\n[[100]]

You pass through the membrane, but immediately once you do, you start falling. \n\nArtificial gravity.\n\nHovercars zoom by, and you are almost hit dozens of times. You smash into a convertable space taxi and find yourself next to Bruce Willis.\n\n[[Willy!]]\n[[Where the hell am I?]]

Congrats! You are now king of the universe. Pretty cool, and all, but man...lots of work...I definitely don't envy you. I don't even know how you are gonna have time to sleep. I mean this is like a job for 100 people, but you kinda just went and took it all on for yourself...pretty admirable, but wow..yeah..Happy birthday...

"Haha you'll do just fine if you keep flinging around puns like that."\nHe slaps you on the back, and you arrive at a huge skyscraper\n\n[[Go in]]

"How would we get delicious burgers if we didn't take a ship? This is the stupidest answer we have ever received.."\n\nBruce Willis comes up on stage and breaks your legs.\n\nOops. Happy birthday!

The door smashes open, but you are sucked out into the vacuum of space! Your eyes begin to swell, and you can't breathe. This is it....\n\nBut wait...in the distance...What's that?\n\nIt's a giant transparent membrane surrounding a city. It's moving closer. You just need to hold your breath for a little while longer.\n\n[[Okay, ima do dat]]

Somehow, on this floating city, tears act differently. They flow faster. They wont stop!\n\nBruce looks at you and starts freaking out. "Dude! Stop crying! You're gonna kill us both!"\n\nThe tears have already filled the car ankle deep, and the floor of the car starts smoldering.\n\nACID TEARS!!!\n\n[[Stop Crying!]]\n\n

You punch the fairy with your brass knuckles (Did I forget to mention you had those?) \nShe goes down in one hit, and you are king of the jungle, but at what cost? \nYour hand has fairy guts on it, and holy wow, it's spreading up your arms!\n\nIt's all over you!\n\nPoof. Now you are the fairy. The exact same fairy, and somebody is coming through the forest.\n\n[[Help me!]]\n[[Hide]]

You start to say something about the charleston being a birthday tradition, but you can't finish your sentence because the fairy shoots an earth shattering beam at your face.\n\nHappy birthday, Nerd.

"Ok. Bye"\n\nHe zaps you with a teleportation gun. You end up back in your house. You gotta stop being so polite. I mean, you could have had a sweet prize....Happy birthday, though...

"Just wait and see, dummy. I'm not in the business of passing out spoilers."\n\nYou arrive at an enormous skyscraper, and he opens the door for you.\n\n[[Go in]]

"Why would we waste that many resources for tiny burgers?"\n\nSuddenly, something happens in your mind. You are being controlled. You can do nothing to stop it.\n\nThey use you as a burger getter for all eternity. The kicker is that you never even get to taste them...\n\nHappy birthday. Sorry about all the hunger

The vines part automatically before you can even touch them. Suddenly, out of the darkness, a branch shoots out and wraps around your body, pulling you into the void.\n\nOn the other side is a feild. You tumble into it, and a small, winged lady is floating above your head.\n\n\n\n\n[[Where am I?]]\n\n\n[[Kill dat fairy]]

The man next to you buzzes in and says, "Three?"\n\nBOOM! His head explodes!\n\nThe announcer says, "Poor dumb, dummy."\n\n[[SECOND QUESTION!]]

You both stay silent...\n\n"It's a tie!" the announcer shouts\n\nBoth your heads explode.\n\n\nNext time, show some initiative, Bday boy.

She blinks her eyes inhumanly fast and says, "This is Birthday Forest, dude. Things are about to get crazy!"\n\nFrom out of the bushes come elephants, cheetahs, hippies, and seagulls (lamest of the bunch). The elephants have boomboxes on their backs and they are blasting Jay-Z, which isn't really your style, but the strobe lights and lasers make it easy to dance to.\n\n[[Do the Charleston]]\n[[Do the stupid dance where you pretend you are in water]]\n[[do the robot]]

You know, usually something like that doesn't work, but like Bruce Willis, these people respect ballsy moves. They end up giving you all those wishes, and since it will take a really long time to make em all, they also give you their cell phone number.\n\nYou make a wish every day, and things friggin rock. You did it, dude! Happy Birthday!!

He punches you in the face. \n\n[[Spit blood at him]]\n\n[[Cry]]

First of all, why the heck would you buzz in? That's ridiculous, but okay, let's get this over with....\n\n[[Only GlimmiGlorps would form]]\n\n[[Three]]\n

You move to the futuristic door and twist the knob. The door is locked.\n\n[[Use Mighty Kick!]]\n\n[[Use Puny Punch!]]

You run as fast as you can away from the torment. Hours and hours of running. The sun goes down and comes up at least 40 times, and you've grown a massive beard. Your legs are pretty beefy now, on account of all the running.\n\nYou end up finding a small village called Charleston Center where you find people with the same interest in your offencive dance moves. Nights are spent partying, and mornings are spent planning how to more effectively party.\n\nYou did it! Happy birthday!

Anonymous

His head dun exploded\n\n[[SECOND QUESTION!]]